The unexpected maternal presence of an SHS teacher

by: Jia Bote, Rose Eunice Gacutan, Carl Daniel Reyes

Photo from: Joan Elery Torres

Within the hallowed halls of the University of Santo Tomas Senior High School (UST-SHS), Laelani "Lai" Arocha stands out as an exceptional teacher. With her humble admission of not embodying a typical motherly figure, she unknowingly weaves a tapestry of mentorship, patience, and guidance that profoundly impacts the lives of her students. Little does she know within the four corners of her classroom, she has become an unexpected and cherished maternal presence.

“Given na yon that the students, especially if you’re having an advisory class, they will look up at you as their mother figure [… ] kasi ikaw naman talaga yung kapag may kailangan, may concerns, may issues sila,” the Humanities and Social Sciences (HUMSS) teacher told Six Stars Capitol.

During her younger years, Arocha never had any plans of being a teacher. In fact, she looked up to her aunt, who is a government agency clerk. But things took a surprising turn when she was admitted to her program, Bachelor of Science in Secondary Education.

“I was in college. Wala akong kaalam-alam sa kurso na kukunin […] basta ang alam ko gusto kong pumasok sa University of Santo Tomas. ‘Yon lang, pero kung anong kukunin ko, I am so clueless,” the Thomasian educator said.

“But I never thought or saw myself as a teacher inside the classroom hanggang sa nagkaroon ng practicum, ng OJT, at nakita ko sarili ko na I can be confident in front of the class,” she added.

Actions speak louder than words

Arocha sets a distinct brand of teaching style, as she defies the conventional image of a teacher showering affection and touchy gestures upon her students while still being a lowkey maternal role and a pillar of support to her students.

“Ako, I would like to be called as a mentor, as a facilitator, rather than a teacher. Kasi kapag sinabi mong teacher, nagtuturo [...] Teach, ganyan. Pero kapag sinabi mong mentor, yung skills that I have, pinapasa ko na sainyo […] parang apprenticeship yung nangyayari,” she said.

While other teachers may embrace the endearing title of "mother," Arocha prefers to be known as a guiding mentor to her students, claiming that it is her role to pass on her learnings to better prepare the students as they set out to leave the confines of the university.

“Hinahanda na kayo for the industry. So kailangan ang skills, mapunta na sa inyo. Ang kailangan niyo, mentorship. Mentorship talaga instead of the nurturing part,” she said, deepening her reason for not nurturing.

However, she continues that she was once a grade school teacher, and that is, she claims, the nurturing and soft side emerges.

“There was a child, a Grade 3 student, ang pangalan niya ay si Dominic. Si Dominic, young boy, ang gulo-gulo niya sa classroom. Lahat ng strategies in-exhaust ko para tumahimik siya. Tinabi ko siya sa pinakatahimik na estudyante sa classroom pero dinaldal niya din. Nilagay ko rin siya sa teacher’s table pero lahat naman kinwentuhan niya habang nagdidiscuss ako. Nilagay ko rin siya sa labas pero nag-iingay pa rin,” she recalled.

Arocha recounted that Dominic was pulled out from school in the middle of the year but a chance encounter with Dominic's grandmother one day left a lasting impression on her memory.

“One day, nakasalubong ko si Lola sa mall. Ang sabi sa akin ni lola, ‘Teacher, ikaw po pala yung adviser ni Dominic’ tapos sabi ko sa isip-isip ko, gusto kong sumabog na kay Lola, ang kulit-kulit ng apo niyo. But then, she went on like this: ‘Thank you, teacher, ah, kasi favorite ka niya,’” Arocha said.

Reflecting on their interactions, Arocha came to understand that what Dominic truly sought was attention. It became clear to her that she was the one providing him with the attention he longed for.

At that moment, Arocha recognized the significance of being a mother figure. Despite her strictness with Dominic, she realized that he found solace in the attention she gave him. Dominic's mother was absent, residing in a different place, and Arocha became the source of the attention and care he yearned for.

This realization deepened her understanding of the impact she had on her students' lives beyond academic instruction. It reinforced the importance of nurturing and providing emotional support to create a safe and nurturing environment where students like Dominic could thrive.

However, she claimed that her role changed when she started handling teenagers.

“Syempre, pagdating sa highschool, I can’t do that, yung pagyakap sa estudyante,” she said.

A second home

Arocha strives to make her classroom a second home for her students where they feel safe in expressing their thoughts and ideas. Creating a welcoming and inclusive environment is at the forefront of her teaching philosophy, believing that emotional support is essential, especially to senior high students.

“Karamihan sa mga estudyante natin ay galing sa malalayo. Kaya minsan, kumukuha na lang sila ng emotional support,” she said.

However, she claimed that teachers are usually the last one to know about a student’s concern, since they find it easier to open up and share with their peers.

“So, always the last to know are the teachers. Manonotice na lang namin na may problema kapag […] ang red flags nito, hindi na pumapasok, pala-absent na or late na sa mga submissions. So, doon tayo nag-uuumpisa sa pag-iimbestiga, kung ano yung nangyayari, kung may pinagdadaan ka ba [...] tapos d’on na sila mag-o-open,” she explained.

She emphasized the importance of fostering trust and open communication with her students by engaging in a conversation with them.

“Hindi ko sila pinagsasabihan, I will have to make it look like a conversation. ‘Ano nangyayari?’ ‘Kamusta ka na?’ When I know a student is falling behind, I would just email him like this: ‘How are you? I miss you in class. When are you going to come back? Ganon,’” she said.

“Conversation dapat yan kasi kung magagalit ako, mahihirapan ako na maka-penetrate sa mundo niya […] o makapag-open up siya sa akin kasi I need answers,” she added.

Ultimately, she is confident that no students in her case felt unsafe, emphasizing that it is important to create an environment where students feel comfortable sharing their concerns, while also respecting their boundaries and allowing them to approach her when they are ready.

“At least with me, they are safe. Their secrets are safe with me. They can confide with me, pero hindi ako ‘yong unang nag-o-offer that you can unload your problems with me,” Arocha said.

Skills, not scores

In her many years of teaching experience, Arocha has encountered different generations of students with different personalities and attitudes.

“Actually, nakikita ko yung pagkakaiba after every four years. Your generation is iba na sa tinuturuan namin ngayon,” she said.

“We have to be updated all the time sa mga pinagdadaanan nila, sa mga issues nila,” she added.

From her observation, the students from older generations were highly relational and more rooted in their families and communities.

“‘Yong ngayon, yung generation ngayon, they are very individualistic, detached from the community, detached from the family because ‘yon na nga, everything is done online,” she said.

With the rise of social media platforms and the widespread availability of internet access, young people have found new ways to connect and express themselves virtually.

Online interactions and digital experiences have become integral parts of their lives, leading to a greater emphasis on personal identity and self-expression. As a result, the sense of community and close-knit family ties that were once prevalent have taken a backseat in their lives.

Arocha argued that while the individualistic nature of today's generation has advantages, such as fostering independence and resilience among students, it also brings about a potential downside of excessive materialism.

“Mas nagiging individualistic ang kabataan ngayon. Ibig sabihin, for every hard work that I do, kailangan may reward. May benefit parati,” she explained.

“Kaya ako as a teacher, I observe that with my students: ‘Ma’am, wala bang plus ito?’ Yung pagiging grade conscious rin,” she added.

However, she wanted to impart to her students that academic scores alone would not guarantee success in the industry. In the real world, what truly matters is the practical application of skills. Scores may demonstrate knowledge, but it is the ability to apply that knowledge effectively that sets individuals apart.

“Kung mas pagtutuunan natin ng pansin yung skills development ninyo, yung you’ve been thankful kasi binibigyan ka ng mas maraming opportunity na madevelop yung skills mo […] I think that is a good reward na din,” Arocha said.

One more chance

Arocha shared another unforgettable anecdote with one of her previous students which tested her resolve.

“I have a student na terrible talaga, absent nang absent sa lahat ng subjects. Nagcucutting klases, bumabagsak [...] Pero may utak, matalino, consistent na nag-dean's list. Ang nangyari kasi noon, hindi ko siya sinukuan […] pero I am on the verge of ‘bahala ka na sa buhay mo, ayoko na makipag-usap sayo, napagod na ako makipag-usap sa nanay mo, nag-iyakan na kami ng nanay mo,’” she said, recounting her anecdote.

However, she never neglected this student of hers and found ways to nudge her on the right path so the student can graduate, even if it meant making a difficult decision.

“Third quarter binagsak ko siya, binigyan ko siya ng 74 pero with the intention na pagdating ng fourth quarter, ipapasa ko siya. Gagawan ko ng paraan para pumasa siya. So nakagraduate siya ng SHS,” she said.

A heartwarming encounter occurred while Arocha was walking along Dapitan Street one day. She coincidentally crossed paths with the student's mother, who excitedly shared the news, "Ma'am, dean's lister na po siya ngayon."

Grateful and appreciative, the mother expressed her gratitude to Arocha for never giving up on her child. She acknowledged that if Arocha had given up, her daughter would not have experienced the triumph she enjoys today.

In response, Arocha acknowledged the student's growth, saying, "Ay nag-mature na siya."

As a mentor, Arocha recognizes the importance of fostering such transformations in students.

“My principle is very SDG, ‘Leave no one behind.’ I make sure that everyone will pass regardless. Kung magdo-double time ako sa trabaho para makapasa ka, para maintindihan mo, then we will do that,” she said.

The one left behind

Arocha's teaching approach goes beyond the classroom, as she aims to instill valuable life lessons in her students. She admits that it is challenging to gauge the impact she has made on her students' lives. However, she finds fulfillment in knowing that she has left behind learnings and experiences that can shape their journeys.

"As a teacher, ang ministry ko kasi is I am the one that is left behind. Kayo nagfa-fly kayo eh, kung saan saan kayo nakakarating. Pero kaming mga teachers, ang ministry namin is we are the ones left behind," Arocha humbly reflects.

She believes that witnessing her students soar to new heights and achieve their dreams is a testament to the impact she has had on their lives.

She also emphasizes the importance of finding meaning and purpose in one's academic journey. Her parting words to her students resonate deeply, "Find your meaning, always have a purpose."

Arocha believes that by identifying their purpose and excelling in their chosen specialization, students can make a lasting impact on their communities and families.

"Get a specialization and be the best in that specialization. If there's a chance for you to go back to your community, to your family, you have to bring back or give back yung mga natutunan mo sa community," Arocha advises her students. Additionally, she emphasizes the significance of kindness over niceness, highlighting that kindness evokes empathy and a genuine concern for others.

Arocha's influence extends far beyond the classroom walls, as her students' achievements serve as a testament to her nurturing guidance. "Meron na akong doctor na estudyante, may accountant, may mga attorneys na used to be my students before," Arocha proudly shares.

She recognizes that these accomplishments are not solely her own but represent the collective effort of the teaching process.

As an educator who acknowledges the role of a motherly figure, Arocha understands that her impact extends beyond academic success. She strives to create a nurturing environment where students feel supported, encouraged, and empowered to overcome obstacles and reach their full potential. Her dedication to providing a transformative learning experience reflects the love and care of a mother guiding her children.

Through her distinct approach, she nurtures and molds future leaders, instilling in them the values of purpose, specialization, and kindness. Arocha’s dedication and commitment to her students’ well-being and success make her a guiding light in their lives and reflect the essence of Mother's Day—an opportunity to honor those who care, guide, and shape the lives of others.